


Kisses Forbidden On Lips

by Tortellini



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Canon Compliant, Canon Gay Character, Character Study, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Male Character, Homophobia, Homosexuality, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Romance, Sorry Not Sorry, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unhappy Ending, Wordcount: 100-500
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 19:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini
Summary: Thomas Barrow wasn't born a cruel man; on the contrary, the world's just made him like that, and for good reason too. For once in his godforsaken life though, he's stupid enough to think a blonde Adonis by the name of Jimmy Kent might help chase away the lonely. Like usual, Thomas is wrong.Oneshot/drabble





	Kisses Forbidden On Lips

Thomas Barrow sat in the Servants hall for a few moments after he had spoken to James, his cigarette dying between his fingers. He wasn't thinking about that though.

For once the younger man wasn't all prissy and showy like he usually was; he didn't look on edge or uncomfortable. He looked...like himself. The two of them relaxed in each other's company, laughing a little and smoking...

And oh, Jimmy Kent was beautiful. In every way possible. Physically, he was built like Adonis himself. Golden waves that fell with casual grace of his forehead, without seemingly any effort; blue eyes that twinkled with good natured mischief; and a lean, hot body, complete with muscles and dimples.

Thomas went to his room and tried to go to bed. He knew it was risky, so don't you dare say he acted like a child. But thoughts of the other man wouldn't -- couldn't -- leave him.

He knew it was wrong too. He knew it was disgusting and heathen and so horribly wrong. But if Jimmy felt the same way...then it wouldn't be so bad, right? It wouldn't be so physically painfully  _ lonely _ this time...

He needed someone. He couldn't be this lonely forever. Hell, he didn't deserve this!

And he loved Jimmy. He loved him more than he ever loved anyone before.

So he stood up before he knew what he was doing. He walked to his bedroom door...

 

Jimmy Kent was fast asleep in his bed after a hard day's work. He was dreaming...of before the war. His conversation with Mr. Barrow, about his family and how he no longer had anyone left, must've triggered something. He was drained too, in his dream—he hopes he doesn't wake up crying.

Suddenly he felt a pressure on his lips.

What did it equal to in his dream? At first a past girlfriend, gone from his life like everyone else; but then because of that, he suddenly couldn’t breathe—it was like the trenches all over again—oh god—

He opened his eyes in a panic and—oh god!

"Get off—of me!" he managed, and all but fell off of his bed. He subconsciously wiped his mouth across his sleeve, his tongue too... How disgusting, ungodly, repulsive...!

"Jimmy?" Alfred squeaked in the doorway.

"Alfred, I  _ swear _ it's not what it looks like." he said desperately.

Thomas Barrow stared at him. Mr. Barrow, his friend; a man with wit and ambition; a man he admired (well not anymore). He looked lost, and shocked, and—honestly? Heartbroken. He reached out for Jimmy, who backed away, shaking his head in wordless anger.

"Get—get out!"

"But what about all the things between us? What about all the things you said?"

"The only thing between us is my  _ fist _ in your face!" Jimmy snarled, and the older man flinched. "And I said nothing but get out—go, Thomas!"

He shoved him out of the bedroom and slammed the door as hard as he could.


End file.
